


Aftermath

by Nihiley_Face



Series: SFW Fics [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Depression, Past Abuse, past abusive relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 15:36:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15122507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nihiley_Face/pseuds/Nihiley_Face
Summary: When all was said and done, and she was alone, she had to deal with the aftermath.





	Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> I'm easing into writing fic for Supernatural, so this is a character study(-ish) of Rowena.

His face.

His true face. 

She wasn't lying to Sam when she said it haunted her. 

She was so deeply afraid of him. 

Lucifer.

She tried to cover it up by wearing long, lavish dresses and acting all high and mighty like she was supposed to, but underneath that façade, it was all just lies. She lied more than her makeup did. More to herself than anyone else. 

She still got so many nightmares. She woke up in a cold sweat fearing him, knowing that he was there. She was so scared. It was times like this when she wished that her son was still here. Even if he hated her as his mother, she would feel safer knowing that he was still in the world, and that maybe he would have just a single protective bone in his body that might protect her if Lucifer tried to get at her again. 

But he wasn't. 

Fergus-  _Crowley_ was dead. 

For a long time, she blamed the hunter Winchesters for her son's death. He did kill himself to save them, after all. But she found she couldn't blame them for his actions. Still, she's rather have a villain for a son than a dead hero. Heroes are celebrated, but often imitated and easily duplicated. She imagined a cloning machine pumping out the same person over and over and calling him a hero. 

At least he didn't hate her anymore. 

She didn't want to admit it, but she regretted leaving her son. She didn't love him, not in the way most mothers loved their children, but she still cared for him, mildly. She wished that she had been smart enough not to participate in that stupid orgy that conceived him. If he had never been born, they'd both be happier. 

She thought about just offing herself, but she was too vain for suicide. Besides. When everyone finds out, they'd know she'd actually been in pain, and God forbid people know her true feelings. She did tell Samuel that she was scared of Lucifer, though. He knows. He knows she's human, and she's scared. She's powerful, but that doesn't matter. Nothing can permanently keep her dead, but the thought of being a modern Prometheus was unappealing to her. She was too good for that. 

Not that these thoughts mattered, Lucifer was dead. But that wouldn't stop them. 

She thinks about his face, haunting her. It was the one thing that kept her from sleeping like the lavish baby she was supposed to sleep like. 

He had done so many ungodly things to her. He tortured her, bullied her, abused her. He used his powers on her in ways that she may never be able to understand. He was the one person who had ever managed to properly break her. 

Oh, God, he broke her. 

That thought horrified her. Lucifer was the one person-  _thing_ -that has managed to tear her apart and break her.

When he killed her for the second time, he grabbed her by the hair and screamed in her face. She couldn't remember what he'd said because she was too busy focusing on his face. His true face. His eyes were a glowing red, and he had teeth. Everywhere. 

He'd thrown her to the floor like yesterday's garbage and stomped on her face. She was screaming and crying the whole time, so, so scared. So desperate for someone to come and help her because no amount of magick would ever save her now. He set her on fire and she burned. She burned and burned and burned, and she felt it all. Inside and out. Fire redder than her hair, she truly was burning up inside because of him. 

He broke her. 

She hated him. She was scared of him, and she hated him. 

She hated him so much. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you want more like this, check me out on Tumblr for more bullshit @ daddy-issues-anon.tumblr.com


End file.
